so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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