Non-Jews are for practice
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
