we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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