goodnight i made you a song goodbye
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
