Non-Jews are for practice
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
