I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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