i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
