You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
