Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
