I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
