Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
