can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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