I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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