I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I have post one night stand depression
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
