I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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