mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
