do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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