I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
