wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
