I heard we made out
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
