Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
