The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
