I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Sorry my hands just texted you
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize