We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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