Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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