she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
