oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
how drunk are you?
Several
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
