I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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