turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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