Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
