Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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