Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
