now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
