So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
