Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
