Nicole vs. Life
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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