In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
