The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
