How'd it feel making her break her religion?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
