In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
