dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
