It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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