i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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