she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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