I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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