Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
