a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
