Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
