On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
