Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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