I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
